Pause // Precious Moments

“Yesterday was history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that’s why it’s called the present.” – Bil Keane

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Peter and I have had the past 7 months to form a bond we wouldn’t have been able to form had Pilot not deployed. Don’t get me wrong, in my perfect life Pilot would have never left, however, making the best of our situation this is what I know.
All we have is today.

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With a growing baby in my belly, Peter has watched it grow. From the very beginning he showed her/him love with the sweetest of kisses and a touch that would melt your heart. I have come to know a sensitive boy who loves his Mom more than anything in the world. I cherish the time we have together because as I get closer to having this baby, it makes me realize this time with
Peter now is special and we will never get it back.

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I had not realized the mixed emotions that come with having a second child. I am thrilled beyond measure, but the sweetness turns sour when I realize Peter will no longer be my all.

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I have been amazed how love grows and I have no doubt God will continue to bless me with a full heart of enough love for my husband, Peter and the new baby. As humans it is easy to doubt, however, through prayer I intend to stay strong. I love you Peter and you will always hold a special place in my heart.

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Dress is Free People (old)
Peter is wearing Zara

Live Life // While Dad is Away

Peter and I both have been acting a little on the loco side today. Pilot left yesterday and Peter misses him, asking where “dad” is ALL day. I kid you not this is how it goes:

Peter: “Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom?”

Me: “Yes, Peter?”

Peter: “Dad?”

Me: “Dad is at work. He will be home in a few weeks.”

Peter: “Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom?”

Me: “Yes, Peter?”

Peter: “Dad?”

….

You get the picture. After an entire day of this, my patience starts running a little low. I feel horrible cause I know he wants to understand more about where Dad is. Peter knows that Dad flies “hos,” (God I wish he was able to say HELO) so when I say he is at work he points to the sky and makes the sound of a helo. He is still too young to understand time and that is what makes it so difficult.

Today during the time he usually naps, he just lay in bed talking to himself and kicking me in the back and hitting me with his “B” (blankie) because, yes, I was trying to nap too. After 40 minutes of this, I said screw it, and we got up and played with his trains for about an hour. He was being extremely short tempered so I thought we should get an early dinner at Costco! Great pregnant idea. I loaded him in the car and he passes out. Of flippin’ course. I turned back around and he slept for about an hour and a half making it a very late nap. Grumpy gills woke up and it was scary. Instead of staying home with an emotionally scary toddler, my pregnant urges brought us out of the house once again for food.

Ice cream fixes everything. I kid you not. Of course the fix is temporary, but who the heck cares when I can get a happy kid for 5 minutes! I was happy and Peter was happy. We both got to forget our troubles while nibbling on delicious sugar coated greatness.

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Freaking Out

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I told Pilot I wanted to be weak.

I wanted at least a day to be sad about him leaving again. He didn’t quite understand my reasoning or lack thereof.

I know I’m supposed to be “lucky” he only went on half a deployment.

I know I’m supposed to be “lucky” he is coming home for the birth of baby #2.

I know I’m supposed to be “lucky” I have my family here.

Well you know what? I have been counting my blessings and thanking God everyday, however, today I just want to be sad.

I don’t think it’s such a bad thing. It’s important to express how we feel.

It’s great to be brave.

Suck it up.

Smile.

Count my blessings.

Not today.

Today I am going to be sad.

Pilot left when I was 8 weeks pregnant and came home when I was 28 weeks pregnant.

He is home for 3 weeks and leaves again until I am 40 weeks pregnant.

I normally wouldn’t be feeling so sorry for myself but our baby is breech and it’s freaking me out.

I am going to the chiropractor, acupuncture and putting myself in really strange positions trying to flip this baby before it’s “too late.”

So…with Pilot leaving again soon and this baby very comfy in the breech position, my mind is running at 100mph.

I can’t sleep.

I am finding it harder to smile as his departure date gets closer.

My pregnancy with Peter was so different.

We ooed and awed over my growing belly everyday.

Preparation for baby #2 almost feels like a chore.

I need to buy more diapers.

I need to set up the bassinet.

I need to put the baby swing together.

I need to buy the second seat for the stroller.

This may be normal after the first child. Who has that time anymore to prep the way we did?

At any rate, it’s making me feel sad and lonely.

The doctor is saying we can try and flip the baby manually at 36 weeks but we will have to do it in the hospital in case anything happens and they need to do emergency c-section.

Freaking out.

Peter’s birth wasn’t exactly a piece of cake but Pilot and I studied and executed the Bradley Method with Peter’s birth.

Neither of us have cracked that book open since.

I continue to pray for God’s grace and strength in Him and not the fear within myself.

I had my day to feel sorry for myself but I think it’s time to snap out of it and honestly take a step back and look at what God has blessed me with.

It would be so easy to stay in my slump and mope.

Not tomorrow.

Tomorrow is a new day.

I will treat it as one.


Pregnant // Toddler // Travel (need I say more?)

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Peter, Pilot and I are going to Italy! I am thrilled because Pilot has been gone for the past 5 months, this will be so great being stuck on an airplane together! Seriously though, I’m really thrilled about that part. I will be about 31 weeks pregnant, am I crazy? Not sure. I bought Birkenstocks. With that confession I may be crazy. I have already begun preparation for the trip, the point being 31 weeks pregnant and with a 21 month old, I must prepare in advance. My biggest concern are “nacks” (snacks) for both myself and Peter, and comfort for the long travel hours in plane and car.

I flew with Peter to Europe when he was 12 months last year, ignorance is bliss because people looked at me like I was crazy but I just smiled. I met my mom and grandmother in Prague then we traveled to Barcelona then Rome (where Peter was kissed by the Pope, really). God must have sent me travel angel baby because he was perfect!! I honestly couldn’t have asked for a better baby to travel with. He slept when he was tired and ate pretty much everything we did. It must be his easy-going attitude because there wasn’t much adjusting, we just rolled with it. When you travel with an infant or toddler you HAVE to roll with it. If you try to stay “on schedule,” psh, let me tell you, you’ll be hating life. Let the kids adjust on their own, feed them when they’re hungry and let them nap when they’re tired. Peter slept through the night the second night we were home, because I didn’t force him on Europe time.

Let’s see how round 2 goes traveling abroad with him at this age. The only thing I can do is pray and prepare.

No one wants to be under the weather when traveling so prep your body before you leave! Get lots of rest and take elderberry daily, this is used to boost the immune system, improve heart health and for coughs, colds, flu, bacterial and viral infections.

Also, Peter and I will have green juice daily and try to stay away from sugar to boost our immunity.

Make sure you have plenty of healthy snack options for the flight and when you get there because sometimes there may not be good options.

For Me:

Home made Trail Mix- My nutrient-packed trail mix recipe: brazil nuts, walnuts, cashews, goji berries, mulberries and cacao nibs. (Try to stick with raw)

Natures Path Flax Plus Oatmeal- Quick and easy-to-make breakfast staple (all you need to add is hot water!) that helps me rise and shine through the whole day.

Amazing Grass Green Powder- What I reach for when I can’t find fresh green juice.

Garden of Life- Keeps my stomach full and my energy up!

For Peter:

Happy Tot – Great option for greens on the go.

Amazing Grass Kidz Superfood Powder – (Just mix with water) Created from a blend of organic greens, fruits and vegetables, one glass equals three full servings of fruits and vegetables.

Home Made Trail Mix- Goji berries, raisins, cereal of your choice (instead of nuts I add Nature’s Path Flax Plus Flakes) sneak some fiber in there to keep him regular ;)

Freeze dried fruit – Costco, Kirkland!

Annie’s – A great alternative to cheese-its and Gold Fish. Vegan, non-gmo and organic options! Let’s be honest, we only buy our kids snacks such as these because we want to snack on them too, so let’s at least try and make it as healthy as possible!

 

Side notes

I traveled with the City Mini to Europe last year and absolutely loved it. I will be bringing it again this time because it is so simple to fold up and is very light weight!

I LOVED wearing Peter. This is one of the things I miss most now that I am pregnant and unable to carry him in any wrap. I traveled with the Maya wrap to Europe last year and plan on bringing it again for Pilot to use just in case we decide not to take the stroller on some of the excursions. I highly recommend wearing baby from the beginning so they are used to it, this makes life so much easier!!

I still on occasion give Peter a bottle of water when I need him to relax and drink slowly. I always used Born Free and still he drinks from it in the car. I like Born Free cause it is BPA free and you have the glass option.

 

Share your favorite travel assessories and must haves, I would love to try new things!

Good luck and safe travels.

 

 

Hurry up and Wait // End of Deployment

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I thought I could hold my breath. Turns out, I was going to drown. The Navy way is “hurry up and wait” and I am learning quickly that it’s not just a saying. There is a lot of anticipation when you are at the end of a deployment. Peter and I have learned to make it on our own without Dada and we have had really hard days (see post, Unreal Reality Check) and days when I thought, “this isn’t so bad.” When you marry someone in the military you have to be prepared to be a single parent and just when you thought you were getting the hang of it, deployment is almost over!! It’s a wonderful thing to anticipate their homecoming and begin to day dream about holding hands in the car again and falling asleep in each others arms. With Pilot expected to come home end of April, there were a lot of expectations involved with his homecoming considering this is kind of a big deal. Well, that day came and gone and he is still not home.

Hurry up and wait. Yup.

Patience is a virtue being a military spouse and I solute all of you who waited patiently for your loved ones to arrive home safe. That’s it. I needed to get over the fact his date and time to come home passed and embrace his safety. Thank you God for keeping my husband and Peter’s Dada safe. Isn’t that all that matters?

Peter and I were driving home from Mommy and Me class and all I kept thinking was, Thank you Jesus. We are so blessed to be here on this beautiful earth, experiencing life at its fullest. Pilot may not be home but I know he is safe and we have a healthy son I get to hug and kiss everyday and I tell him I love him all the time.

I look at that saying in a different light now, hurry up and wait. Yes, I want deployment to go by fast and to hurry up, however, to wait isn’t the worst part anymore. I can take that waiting measurement of time and meditate on everything good in my life. There is so much good and it would be such a shame to neglect the splendor in life.

The day Pilot was supposed to be home, I decided to spend that day at the beach instead of sulking at home. It was the perfect day, and I don’t think that was a coincidence. How could I be unhappy with a roly poly as a son who wears an old man hat?

Pregnancy Favorites

I am about 27 weeks pregnant with my second baby and there have been items that have been essential to me during both pregnancies. I hope these items prove useful to you, as well.

Pregnancy

1. California Baby Body Wash- I started using this product after I had Peter. It is important to use natural organic products during pregnancy but I don’t understand why you should not use these products even when you’re not pregnant? I trust this product for my babies and it also works great for me. They have a super sensitive in case certain scents make you queezy.

2. Ilike Exfoliating Wash- During both pregnancies I did not have “the glow.” You know what I mean? Man, my skin is so sensitive that once I got pregnant I felt like my skin wanted to break out for everything! I actually cried a few times in my first trimester because my skin was looking so bad (those darn hormones like to mess with pregnant women). Once I was introduced to ilike skin care products, I don’t think I will ever go back. My skin cleared up and I feel like I have that pregnancy “glow!”

3. Carisonic- I am obsessed. I really don’t know how my skin survived before I had one. It leaves your skin looking and feeling like your growing baby’s bottom!!

4. Dr. Bronners- If you have not heard of or used this product before, let me tell you, it will become your new best friend! I use this to clean my kitchen and to wash my body! I mention this product for household cleaning and for hygiene. Try to skip all the brand name cleaning products and look up ways to make your own household cleaners! I will post some good ones if you’re interested (like home-made window cleaner, etc).

5. Hurom- Okay, this might be a little extreme but I use it so much, I had to include it in my favorites. It is difficult to stick to eating well most of the time while you are pregnant so having a great juicer makes it easier to skip the ice cream (sugar craving) and juice instead! It is a great way to get your greens in too if you have been eating pizza and hamburgers to curb those cravings. Another reason I fell in love with my juicer is because I made it a habit before having Peter and now that Peter is here, he loves juicing too! It is important to start good eating habits to instil those habits in your children.

6. Maternity Jeans- With my first pregnancy I didn’t want to spend the money on maternity jeans cause “I’m only going to wear them for a few months so why waste my money?!” Okay, let me tell you something, it is worth the money! I went ahead and bought J Brand Maternity jeans at Pea in the Pod and love them! They don’t have that band that goes over your entire stomach, but instead has elastic on the sides. Why didn’t I think of that?! They are more comfortable than the other jeans and I feel really good wearing something that actually fits and looks good.

7. Mama Mio- Some people say its genetics, some people say it’s not. Why take the chance? Until I found Mama Mio, with my first pregnancy I would pop open vitamin E capsules and rub it all over my belly. Umm sticky and good-bye night-time cuddle sessions. Mama Mio Oil is NOT sticky and I have zero stretch marks. Win Win.

8. Epsom Salt- There is nothing I want to do more at the end of the day than lay in a warm (below 100 degree bath). Epsom salt is a safe way to increase the body’s levels of magnesium and sulfate. Sulfate is essential for many biological processes. It helps to flush toxins and form proteins in joints, brain tissue and mucin proteins. With all the crap in our food, in the air and all around us, it is important to try to detox and this is an easy and safe way  to during pregnancy.

9. Raw Protein- For me, during pregnancy especially, I eat all day. I love this company and this protein powder has saved me from eating something I shouldn’t quite a few times. They sell it in a giant tub or you can buy individual packets for on the go or when traveling. This is my favorite because it is raw, vegan, organic, non-gmo and soy-free! WHAM BAM! Try and beat that!

10. Pregnancy Tea- It’s good for you and it’s calming. Yes, please. It can also make for an easier and quicker labor!

11. Apple Cider Vinegar- Heartburn. Never had I had heartburn until I got pregnant. Of course, it was worse in the middle of the night when I was trying to get beauty rest! Staying natural, I would take a shot of Braggs apple cider vinegar. Okay, it kinda sucks going down, however, it works immediately!! I just recommend having a small (cause you don’t want to chase it with a glass of juice then have to wake up again to pee 20 minutes later) chaser ready of juice or water.

12. Lulu Lemon pants- I recommend these because they have a high waist that folds down, aka, very comfortable on the growing belly! Plus, you can wear them after baby too. I have been wearing Lulu Lemon since 2005 and am still wearing one of the first pants I bought. It is hard to find clothes with that quality, and yes, you are paying for quality but then again you can wear the same pants for 10 years, like me!

13. King size pillow- I hate storing stuff. The pregnancy pillow sounds really cool and comfortable but where in the heck am I going to put that thing after I have the baby?! So, I settled on a king size pillow. Not really settling though because it works great for me! If you don’t mind storing the pregnancy pillow or if you’re one of those people who will just give it away, great, but why not just get a king size pillow you can enjoy before, during and after baby!

If you have a product that you couldn’t live without during your pregnancy, let me know! I love finding new favorites that can make the rest of this pregnancy and future pregnancies easier!

Living Below the Line

My sister is raising awareness by taking part in an organization called Living Below the Line by literally living below the poverty line from April 28- May 2. She is going to live on $1.50 a day like those who have no other choice.

In today’s world, extreme poverty and inequality are unjustifiable and unfair. Live Below the Line demonstrates the problem in a concrete way, while raising money to address the problem. Support me as I live below the line by donating now – your generous support will go towards fighting extreme poverty.”

Instead of shopping online and buying things we don’t need , spare that extra change and donate to her cause. If you are doing it for a tax break, so be it, but do it! It is so easy to get caught up in life and forget about how most of the world is living on practically nothing. After having Peter, the things I became almost numb about seemed so real, and they are! For example, ever see Slumdog Millionaire? Those children that get used and abused with nowhere to go, the first time I saw it years ago was like a lot you see on t.v., you become numb to it. After I had my son and seeing it again for the first time I cried like a baby. I know it’s just a movie, but that is the reality of most people. I put myself in their shoes and it changed my whole perspective.

I hope you too can put yourselves in the shoes of those living below the line and donate, or even better, participate! Visit Living Below the Line and donate today! Look around and learn more about the cause.

Chocolate Chia Superfood Pudding // Vegan & Gluten-Free

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Not what I expected…BETTER than I expected! The recipe called for ground cacao but all I had was ground carob so I used that instead. It turned out just the right amount of sweet so perfect for breakfast! Try adding some sliced bananas on top, raw nuts or fresh berries!

Serves 2

1 1/4 cup unsweetened non-dairy milk (I used cashew milk)

1/4 cup chia seeds

3 tablespoons raw carob powder  (raw cocoa powder will also work)

Dash of pink Himalayan sea salt

1 tablespoon organic maple syrup or raw honey

Add all of the ingredients to a large glass jar with a lid, give it a quick stir, then put the lid on. Shake it like crazy to mix it all up. Refrigerate until very thick and puddin-like, at least 4 hours or overnight, shaking or stirring occassionally.

I tasted mine about 4 hours later, then again in the morning and preferred the taste the next morning! It allowed the yummy carob and honey to soak in.

Enjoy!

Pinterest // Weekend Favorites

Who doesn’t love Pinterest? Follow my account for more on what my style is. I have not seen too many inspirational maternity ideas, however it has not been difficult to find awesome non-maternity outfits. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE being pregnant, but I find myself daydreaming of being skinny again sipping on mojitos. Mojitos,  plural.

Kaylee McLaughlin on Pinterest

This is the way Peter looks at me and I take in every second of it. I couldn’t have had a more loveable son.

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These shoes. Perfection. Humble Hilo.
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When Pilot and I first started dating he kept track of the amount of days we had been together. I love him.
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I want white space.
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I love this dress. Black is the new black. Gotta love Free People.
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